Confessions of an Over-Analyzer

For years I've surfed the web, read countless blogs of others, and rarely commented beyond a word or two of agreement or encouragement. Heck, I even started a few blogs myself only to have them dissolve into the abyss of the thousands of other "dead" web pages.

You see, I have always had the best of intentions in these ventures, but alas, I am typically way too analytical. I guess I have feared saying something that someone would dislike, disagree with, be offended by, or that they would use my words to make an unfair assessment of my character, theology, etc. Plus, my grammar and punctuation sucks! (hopefully, the word "sucks" doesn't offend anyone, but if it does I must apologize twice, because I said it twice).

In the end, I want to love and be loved. I don't want to hurt people or stir up unnecessary disagreements. You name it. I've got hundreds of excuses why I don't speak up in the virtual community or even in real community for that matter. I inevitably either over analyze everything or shut it off entirely.

I know. I know. Probably not the healthiest thing, but it's me.

So, what i am really trying to get to is this: If this weblog thing is not your cup of tea. Well, it was not my cup of tea first - since i am older than most of you, except Pat. Sorry Pat.

I am trying to make several changes in my life in areas that are out of balance - extending trust, giving love outside my comfort zone, not taking advantage of the love of the ones inside my comfort zone, lightening up on sarcasm (that's a tough one), and others, especially as it relates to biblical humility - looking to Christ as the example of perfection in that regard.

I would like to propose something - not in vain conceit or selfish ambition, though it will help me considerably, but for the benefit of all of us individually and as a community. Here goes:

What would happen if we committed to write and read things (and speak to each other in person) with the understanding and agreement that 1) we are all imperfect human beings, 2) we are all ardent followers of Jesus Christ, 3) we will speak/write in the spirit of phillipians 2:3 - we will "do NOTHING out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than (y)ourselves", and 4) we will give each other the benefit of the doubt FIRST, before assuming otherwise.

What I mean is, when something is said (real community) or written (virtual community) that hurts or is confusing, we first refer to our agreement that we FIRST assume the person saying those things did not mean them to be hurtful or confusing, because they are communicating NOT in selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in a spirit of seeing us as better than themselves. Thus, their words were meant for either our edification, challenge, accountability, or the bettering of our relationship. If I have taken them otherwise, it is FIRST assumed by me that I've misunderstood, thus i need to approach them to clear up confusion.

Taking it to the next step, if I am the first person and someone approaches me for clarification, I also FIRST assume that there is NO selfish ambition or vain conceit in the other's approaching me, but only that which is for my edification, challenge, accountability, or the bettering of our relationship.

Hopefully this all makes a small bit of sense. All I ask at this point is that you read this a couple times, pray about how our team can grow with an embracing of Phillipians 2:3, continue talking with me about this, and hold me accountable in my desire for biblical humility, as I will you. Also comment at will.

craig

Humus we were born, humus we shall return...

i have recently (over the past many months) grappled with the second chapter of the book phillipians, especially verse 3, "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." it is on my desktop, on a sticky note on my computer, but most of all in my head!

it never fails that whenever i walk away from a quiet time, i walk away with that verse ringing in my ears, regardless of where i've been in the bible or in any other book for that matter (dangerous act of worship included)...

why are you beating me over the head with this, God?

so, rather than fight with Him, i chose to study just what it means...i have been amazed at what He has been doing in my head and heart over this...i will be teaching on december 30 at grace and i almost feel like God has been preparing me for that day for some time, though i feel hopelessly inept when it comes to speaking...but i AM sick and tired of how selfish i have remained, since my conversion to Christ...i am so ready to allow Him to reorient my view of the world around me...join me, will you...

ok, i found this very interesting: did you realize that the word "human" and "humility" are based on the same root as the word "humus"? You know what humus is right? Dirt! or better yet, compost - or as the american heritage dictionary puts it: a brown or black organic substance consisting of partially or wholly decayed vegetable or animal matter that provides nutrients for plants and increases the ability of soil to retain water...so basically, we are similar in nature to rotting garbage...but don't dwell too long on this...

as i was looking into the etymology of the word humility i stumbled over this quote, from a professor stephen gilbert:

“There is a strong link between human, humility and humus. When you and I are living up to our best as human beings, we are functioning like humus, not in the sense of garbage, but as the fundamental nurturing substance of life, the compost out of which new life emerges and reemerges. For an individual to act with true humility is also to act generatively: to help make things and people grow. Likewise, humble people are not lacking in pride or self-esteem, rather they are like humus, that is to say, they are down to earth, grounded, not pompous or puffed up; and thus they have enough self-confidence to be able to laugh even at themselves."

i also like that last statement "able to laugh at themselves"...like "humor", another word with the same root...

so, we humans came from dirt, are but dirt (brought to life by the breath of God (gen2:7)), and will return to dirt...

we should then use this dirt (gifted and empowered by God) to fertalize the lives of as many others (humility) as we can before we return to the dirt (laughing along the way because God's ridiculous plan includes us)...

God is so great!
craig

John 15

For quite a while, I've struggled with the power of prayer, with the words found in John 15: 7, "if you abide in me and my words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you."

My mind travels to 9 short months ago. I think of my brother-in-law and his wife. As they stood over their 3 month old daughter's frail, limp, and unbreathing body, they cried out to God to save her. As they followed behind the screaming ambulance, they cried out to God to save her. And as they stood surrounded by doctors and nurses in the Emergency Room, they pleaded, bargained, and screamed out to God to save her tiny, precious life. She died that night, and with that, their hearts were shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

I have to wonder: how could their prayers have been any more pure? I know that they were praying the words of Christ over baby Lily, but to no avail.

John Piper says that prayer is for fruit-bearing. He says that prayer is not for natural interests, but it is for fruit bearing. His explanation of prayer is one of the best that I've come across. He says that we must be so in tune with God, so abiding in his word, that His desires truly become our desires.

I think of all the times I pray, thinking that it is for the right reasons, but really, it is for a natural desire. Piper challenges one to think of all of the greatest spiritual giants he/she knows. "Are they not oozing with the scriptures?" he asks.

I don't think that I abide in Christ enough. I don't think that I truly interact with his word. Piper examines the Lord's Prayer and notes that "give us this day our daily bread" only comes after acknowledgment of God's holiness, kingdom, and will.

I want to be saturated in his words. I want Christ to ooze out of me to the point that it drowns passers-by. I want my prayers to be more than short utterances of desires; I want them to be aligned with the Christ who "chose me to bear fruit that won't spoil" 15:16.

This is not an easy task.

Thought for Discussion

So, I thought of a question that has been tugging at my heart a lot lately. I believe that we are called to continuously examine ourselves and one of the areas that I believe that is true is in our service to Christ. So far I really like the "Dangerous" book because it is challenging me in an area of personal weakness. No not just a lifestyle (because I have always seen this important) but the act of serving others. Thanks Craig for bringing that to us...... But I digress (sorry its the A.D.D) The question I have for all that I would love for you to think about and respond is this:

"As followers of Christ, how do we decipher between a passion to do something for personal enjoyment and a call from God that we should act on?"

"What if that passion doesn't really feel like an area where we are gifted?"

Originally, I asked Craig and have heard some great commentary on this from men whose opinion I value greatly. I/Craig thought all of you might also benefit from such a discussion.

Some of you might wonder where this is coming from..... Anyone else out there wonder if they are serving Christ in the correct capacity????? I wonder if drums are the way for me????? Maybe Christ is calling me to sing on the mountaintops...... Maybe playing the guitar is what I should be doing???? Anyone else????? Thoughts!!!?????

p.s. sorry if this post is an unusual form....... "I'm a Long time listener.... first time caller" I probably should be using things like idk and lol and brb bff??????

Starving Jesus

ok, let's get this party started...

i just purchased and viewed a couple of videos under the "starving Jesus" title...a few short movies on the subject of which we will be discussion in 2008...

check em out here (especially "starving Jesus" and "where is the love"):

http://www.worshiphousemedia.com/index.cfm?hndl=producer&id=77

also, i am responsible for planning and teaching on december 30, 2007...i am really thinking of using the concepts in "the dangerous act of worship" as the focus that morning...anyone with any input as to what would help communicate the message of transformational worship - worship that leaves us changed - thus causing us to reorient our lives to reach for the lost, lonely, beaten, poor, widowed, downcast...please feel free to comment...what could a 60-70 minute service consist of that would really move people ahead in that direction? i know it takes much more than 60-70 minutes, but we've got a chance to say and do something...what is the best way to do that...help me in prayer there, please?

Welcome to Grace Gathering Worship

Alright! I am not a complete loser...(no comments please)

So here we go...not a whole lot on my mind today, but wanted to get things up and rolling...so welcome...come back often and let's get the discussion rolling...

Add topics as you wish...

see ya round,
craig